Sheryl Cifrino

Fall, 2001

Communication, the process by which information is exchanged between individuals, powerfully influences us all. Communication is verbal. It is what you say and how you say it. Communication is also how you listen, hear and understand. Your body language, eye contact and your actions are powerful components of communication. The way you communicate affects the way others respond to you. Effective communication is usually open, honest and appropriate; it enhances self esteem, nurtures relationships and promotes effective coping in a situation (1).

A significant part of reducing barriers to communication is making the maximum use of feedback, both in giving and receiving it. In an interactive environment it is crucial to make the best use of feedback as possible, since this can enhance the function of a group. Feedback is a fundamental part of the communication process. It is important to realize how critical feedback can be and how it can overcome difficulties when communicating. Feedback is essential because it requires skill, understanding, courage and respect for ourselves and others. By applying simple techniques in the communication process, factors that interfere with feedback and its process can be eliminated. Also noted is that people tend to evaluate themselves from the feedback that comes from others. With application and practice, people can learn to overcome barriers to effective feedback by applying simple techniques when giving and receiving constructive feedback. This briefing addresses receiving feedback.

Whenever you decide to bring in feedback depends not on the time as much as your thinking on how much you want to let the thinking of others get all mixed up with your own. The range is from minimal to lots and is described in detail in Peter Elbow’s book Writing with Power, chapter 13 (3).

Communication takes place between people under some rules they wish to follow, especially when people are affected by the kinds of feedback they receive, whether positive or negative(4). For example, if someone looks angrily at another, you must find out what they have said that made them react in an angry way. Another rule is that if a listener smiles and nods you will continue to give that kind of message. Meanings of words and emotions differ from person to person, making it important in communication to be aware of both content and emotion. When receiving feedback, there are several techniques that can ensure you receive messages in a skillful way (5).

First, to make sure the content of the message is understood clearly, you can ask open-ended questions (4). Sometimes we all have a preference to pretend we comprehend everything, when we do not. Examples of asking a question like "What do mean by..." can avoid misunderstanding between the receiver and the giver. Do not be afraid to ask the question. If you are hesitant to ask, you can repeat the message to make sure the message was received correctly. The result of this approach is that you may receive more honest feedback. Asking questions is one of the most effective ways to promote effective communication.

Listening means different things to different people. Listening requires that one person, the talker, send a message and one (or more) listener(s) receive that message. One form of listening is active listening, in which a listener reflects back her or his "impression of the experience of the sender" by paraphrasing or stated interpretation of what the talker is communicating (6).

The second technique is to listen actively with genuine interest. Listening requires absolute concentration. Active listening assists the receiver to establish empathy, where we put ourselves in another person’s position. This empathy can allow us to understand different attitudes of the sender and understand the content of the message (5).

A third technique is to establish rapport by making eye contact, trying to remain relaxed and receptive and trying to avoid interruptions when giving or receiving feedback (4). By establishing direct eye contact you can provide assurance to the person giving the message that the message is being received with undivided attention. Remaining relaxed and receptive helps us better understand the message clearly. On the other hand, interruptions can cause the message to not be heard clearly or misunderstood.

What Elbow refers to in summary of kinds of responses helps in several ways to understand how different techniques help the receiver of the feedback. Reply is a response that answers the question "Now that you’ve heard what I’ve had to say, what do you have to say?" This is a useful response, particularly at early stages when you haven’t quite worked out your thinking yet. Another response that may serve useful to the receiver is the summary and say back response. By asking someone to summarize what was said or say back in their own words what the message received was, the receiver may find and clarify exactly the thoughts or emphasis they are looking for (2).

To respond and paraphrase the message is a technique that will provide you with comfort in receiving an accurate message (5). Although you may be sure of what you have heard, it is a good habit to paraphrase.

It is an unrealistic expectation to think that we can always communicate clearly and rationally. Emotions can distort the meaning of a message when it is being transferred from one to another. A way to address this problem is by modifying the message format, altering your message in a positive way so that it is received better. When you construct a message, it should be in a format that is easy to understand and process, because the goal is for the message to be received and understood for the communication to be effective.

Your main tool in receiving feedback is to listen and try to experience that of your reader. If you are successful at this, you will be able to accomplish the task of fixing your presentation (3).

Lastly, realize that receiving feedback effectively takes practice to develop. Even the smallest attempt to refine this skill can enhance communication.

1. Benson, H. & Stuart, E.M. (1992). Communication in The Wellness Book New York, NY: Carol Publishing Group.
2. Elbow, P. Summary of kinds of responses in A Community of Writers (2nd ed.).
3. Elbow, P. (1981). Revising with feedback in Writing with Power (2nd ed.) New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
4. Myers, G.E. & Myers, T. (1980). The Dynamics of Communication: A Laboratory Approach New York, NY: McGraw Hill.
5. Tubbs, S.L. & Moss, S. (1974). Human Communication: An Interpersonal Approach
6. Weissglass, J. (1990). Constructivist listening for empowerment and change. The Educational Forum (54) 4, p.355.

*An additional adjunct to this briefing would be on giving feedback.

Suggested readings inclusive of this topic are:

Whyte, W.F., ed, (1991). Participatory Action Research. Newbury Park; CA: Sage

Publications.

McGill & Beatty.(1994). Action Learning: A Practitioner’s Guide. London: Kogan

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