Dialogue process guidelines, short list

• When you think you have something to say, take a card or put your initials into the online chat box to add your name to the queue. Then go back to listening.
• After you have a turn talking, place your card on the used stack or call on the next person in the chat queue. (When the turn-taking administers itself the facilitator can be a participant, stepping back into facilitator role only when needed to gently remind participants of guidelines.)
• When it comes to your turn, pause. If you don't remember what it was you'd wanted to say or if it's no longer apt to where the conversation has gone, you can pass.
• When you take a turn, don’t try to go through all the points you might have noted down. That makes it hard for the person speaking after you to see what thread to follow. Keep it to one or two points – you can always take another turn later - and fnish your turn if you find that you are repeating yourself.
• In what you say, expose what you are chewing on; it's not so helpful to you or the dialogue to assert what you have already settled for yourself.
• Protect the reputation of others in the group and outsiders. That means not disparaging any named or identifiable person nor sharing something that would embarrass or could be used against them.
• If you ask a question that seems to be directly taking up something said by one speaker, offer it to the whole group to consider. Indeed, the specific speaker cannot answer until their next turn and even then may choose to speak of some other concern.
• You don't have to agree. Suspend, rather than identify with, your judgements. Stand back and ponder, rather than reacting defensively. Communicate your reasoning process.
• Listen with the expectation of learning. None of us has the whole truth. Appreciate how the diversity of perceptions enriches the quality of the dialogue.
• Silence is OK. After all, the deepest insights from dialogue process come from listening to yourself think.